Category: News

City Pursues $8 Million Solutions to Problems Priced in Billions; Everyone Agrees Something Should Be Done Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat LOS ANGELES, CA — The city of Los Angeles continues its multi-pronged approach to homelessness, which involves substantial public investment, significant political conflict, genuine programmatic innovation, and the persistent gap between the scale of resources deployed and the scale of the problem being...

FIFA Brings Soccer Fans; LA Delivers More Than Expected Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat LOS ANGELES, CA — With the FIFA World Cup’s Los Angeles matches approximately thirty days out, the city’s restaurant and hospitality industry is preparing for an influx of international visitors who will bring with them the specific appetites, dietary expectations, and willingness to wait in lines that international tourists generate, and who will...

Paramount’s autonomous screenplay system completes fourteen pilot scripts before anyone in development mentions anything feels slightly off Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat HOLLYWOOD, LOS ANGELES — A major Hollywood studio announced Monday that it had been using an AI system to generate all first-draft television scripts for the past three weeks without informing its development executives, and that the experiment had concluded...

Brentwood woman purchasing own groceries triggers seven-outlet media response, two lifestyle analysis pieces, and a wellness brand partnership offer Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat BRENTWOOD, LOS ANGELES — A photograph of a woman widely recognized as a former lead cast member of a streaming drama series purchasing approximately $340 of groceries at a Brentwood Whole Foods without visible assistance received 4.2 million views across four...

DWP enforcement action produces 4,200 citations in one week as drought-stage rules and lawn appearance ordinances achieve perfect mutual incompatibility Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — The Los Angeles Department of Water and Power issued 4,247 citations in a single week to residential customers for violations of the city’s mandatory water use restrictions, while the Bureau of Street Services issued 1,830...

Plan to address 30,000-unit housing shortage through ‘creative density acknowledgment’ and ‘zoning language modernization’ hailed as breakthrough Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat CITY HALL, LOS ANGELES — Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass unveiled Tuesday what her office described as “the most ambitious housing initiative in the city’s history,” a comprehensive plan to address the city’s estimated shortage of 30,000 affordable...

Man who spent six years being ignored while doing inexplicable things on the boardwalk finds identical content generating $180,000 annually on social media Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat VENICE BEACH, LOS ANGELES — A Venice Beach performance artist who spent six years performing what he describes as “meditative disruption exercises” on the boardwalk to an audience that ranged from zero to a handful of bemused tourists has discovered...

Annual Event Is Perfect Portrait of California Contradictions, Says Sociologist Who Then Purchased Funnel Cake and Had an Excellent Afternoon Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat POMONA, CA — The Los Angeles County Fair opened Thursday for its 101st year, welcoming 1.2 million projected visitors to a fairground simultaneously containing: an artisan cheese pavilion, a gun show, a cannabis consumption lounge, a 4-H livestock competition, fourteen...

Event Raises $2.4 Million for Climate Awareness; 340 Guests Arrived by Private Jet; Several Have Solar Panels and Consider the Matter Settled Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat MALIBU, CA — An invitation-only climate awareness fundraiser Saturday at a $47 million Malibu beachfront estate raised $2.4 million for the Global Climate Action Foundation, attended by approximately 340 guests who arrived via private jets at Van Nuys Airport,...

Study Finds Waze, Google Maps, and Apple Maps Simultaneously Routing All Users to the Same Shortcut Has Made the Shortcut Slower Than the Highway It Was Avoiding Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat LOS ANGELES, CA — A UCLA Institute for Transportation Studies report documented what Southern California commuters have long suspected: real-time traffic navigation apps have not reduced overall commute times but have redistributed congestion from...

New Framework Gives Residents Clearer Information About Their Specific Level of Maximum Risk Relative to Other Areas Also at Maximum Risk Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat LOS ANGELES, CA — The California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection released an updated Community Wildfire Risk Assessment Thursday using a four-tier classification framework: Elevated, High, Very High, and Extreme. The assessment classified 94 percent of Los...

Plan to Take Something Funny and Good and Make It the Kind of Film Where Someone Cries in the Rain While a Composer Makes Ominous Noises Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat CULVER CITY, CA — A major studio announced the development of a reimagining of a beloved franchise that the original creative team described as “complete,” audiences described as “perfect,” and studio executives described as “an underexplored IP asset with...

Workout Buddy Feature Hits Los Angeles: Finally Something More Useful Than “Stand Up” Every Hour By Ingrid Gustafsson | Bohiney.com Apple’s new Workout Buddy feature has landed in Los Angeles, and sun-kissed Angelenos are breathing a sigh of relief—anywhere between sets of lunges, burpees, and kale shakes—because their Apple Watches now have a raison d’être beyond nagging them to stand up every hour. For years, Apple Watch owners in...

Siri Finally Gets AI Upgrade in LA, Still Can’t Figure Out Why Anyone Would Pay $1,099 for a Phone When Rent is $4,000 Apple’s voice assistant gets smarter but remains baffled by Silicon Beach economics and Hollywood financial priorities The Dawn of Artificially Intelligent LA Confusion After years of promising that Siri would evolve beyond being a glorified traffic navigator for the perpetual nightmare that is the 405 Freeway, Apple finally...

Forbes Cracks the LA Relationship Code: Beverly Hills Psychologist Discovers That Understanding Your Partner Might Be More Effective Than Couples’ Kundalini Revolutionary study suggests that treating significant other like actual person could outperform crystal healing and shared meditation retreats In what surely ranks among the most groundbreaking discoveries since someone determined that traffic on the 405 is consistently terrible, Forbes...

Tour’s Sustainability Report Confirms Impact Has Been Measured Carefully And Will Be Addressed Through More Measurement LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat report, with environmental context from Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat, that Coldplay’s current world tour sustainability report has confirmed that the tour’s carbon footprint is 59 percent lower than their previous world tour, a reduction achieved...

Council Resolution Protecting Residents From Federal Interference In Activity That Federal Government Has Not Interfered In LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat report, with civic affairs context from Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat, that the Los Angeles City Council has voted 11-2 to declare Los Angeles a “sanctuary city for climate scientists and environmental researchers,” a declaration that the...

Three Years After Strike Resolved Industry Discovers Efficiencies That Are Remarkable Coincidence With AI Tool Adoption WEST HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA — Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat report, with entertainment industry context from Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat, that Hollywood’s major streaming platforms have simultaneously announced reductions in their development pipelines that the WGA estimates will reduce working screenwriter...

Annual Evacuation Produces Annual Surprise Among Population That Has Lived Through Previous Annual Evacuations TOPANGA CANYON, CALIFORNIA — Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat report, with emergency management context from Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat, that the Topanga Canyon community has been placed under evacuation warning for the fourth consecutive year following conditions — high temperatures, low humidity, elevated winds, and...

Los Angeles Landmark That Exists To Show People The Sky Requires Advance Planning That Is Incompatible With Looking At The Sky Spontaneously LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat report, with cultural affairs context from Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat, that the Griffith Observatory’s timed-entry reservation system has produced a booking waitlist of approximately three months for evening visits, which the...

State Health Department and Funeral Bureau Launch Separate Investigations Into How Person Who Was Not Dead Got That Far Originally reported by Bohiney Magazine and cross-posted to The London Prat, which has strong opinions about what follows. CALIFORNIA — A woman who was declared deceased by hospital medical personnel and transported to a funeral home was found to be alive in her coffin prior to the scheduled cremation, producing simultaneous...

State Wildlife Commission Extends Formal Protection to Animals That Have Been Declining Since Approximately When the Commission Was Established Originally reported by Bohiney Magazine and cross-posted to The London Prat, which has strong opinions about what follows. SACRAMENTO — California has formally listed mountain lions as a threatened species under the California Endangered Species Act, providing the state’s estimated 4,000 to 6,000...

StreetLA Civic Report Solves the Critical Information Gap Between Pothole Observation and Pothole Acknowledgment While Leaving Pothole Intact Originally reported by Bohiney Magazine and cross-posted to The London Prat, which has strong opinions about what follows. LOS ANGELES — The City of Los Angeles has launched StreetLA Civic Report, a mobile application allowing residents to photograph and geotag infrastructure issues including potholes,...

Attorney General’s Reference to LA-Adjacent City Prompts Residents to Do Something Rarely Done in Policy Debate: Look Up the Numbers Originally reported by Bohiney Magazine and cross-posted to The London Prat, which has strong opinions about what follows. CULVER CITY, CA — US Attorney General Pam Bondi referenced Culver City in public remarks as an example of California cities experiencing significant crime problems, a characterization that...

Officer’s Viral Social Media Presence Raises Questions About What Exactly Police Departments Are Communicating When They Communicate Originally reported by Bohiney Magazine and cross-posted to The London Prat, which has strong opinions about what follows. BURBANK, CA — A patrol officer with the Burbank Police Department has become what multiple press accounts describe as an “online sensation,” a characterization that normally attaches...

BREAKING: Los Angeles Declares Edgar Cut a Public Health Crisis, Mobilizes National Guard Mayor Bass: “This is Our Hurricane Katrina, But For Hair” City Council Emergency Session Results in Mandatory Follicle Inspections for All Residents LOS ANGELES – In a stunning escalation of the ongoing national Edgar cut controversy, Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass declared a city-wide hair emergency this morning, mobilizing the California National...

Sunday Morning Data Shows Mother’s Day Produces Best Traffic Flow of Any Non-Holiday Day, Prompting Policy Discussion Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat The Best Traffic Day of the Year Is a Holiday About Motherhood LOS ANGELES — Data from the Los Angeles Department of Transportation’s traffic monitoring network confirms what anyone who has driven in Los Angeles on a Sunday morning already knows: Mother’s Day produces the lowest...

Protest Visible on Live National Television Raises Questions About Preparedness, Accountability, and Parade Float Sponsorship Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat The Protest That Made the Broadcast LOS ANGELES — A protest banner demanding an investigation into the Eaton wildfire appeared during live coverage of the Rose Parade on New Year’s Day, visible to an estimated 15 million viewers on multiple broadcast networks and approximately three...

Rare Multi-Day Period of Good Air Prompts Discussion of What City Might Be Like If This Were Normal Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat The Air Was Good; Nobody Knew What to Say LOS ANGELES — The South Coast Air Quality Management District recorded five consecutive days of “Good” air quality index readings across greater Los Angeles last week, a streak that has not been equaled since a similar period during the pandemic-related traffic...

State Closes $10 Billion Gap Through Combination of Borrowing, Deferral, and Optimistic Revenue Projections Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat The Art of the Fiscal Gap LOS ANGELES — The California Department of Finance released its revised budget projections for fiscal year 2025-26, showing a gap between projected revenues and planned expenditures that the Governor’s office describes as “a manageable structural challenge” and that the...

City Engineers Conclude That Closing Sepulveda Boulevard to Through Traffic Produced Better Flow Than All Previous Solutions Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat The Accidental Urbanist Victory LOS ANGELES — The City of Los Angeles’s Department of Transportation announced that a weekend street closure on a major Westside corridor, implemented to allow utility work, produced traffic flow improvements on parallel streets significant enough to...

Breaking: Twitter Users Solve Crime Faster Than LAPD, Media Still Confused Local Social Media Platform Accidentally Practices Journalism While LA Times Practices Creative Writing Original analysis: https://bohiney.com/church-shooting-was-anti-christian-hate/ HOLLYWOOD – In a development more shocking than finding parking in West Hollywood, users on X (the platform formerly known as Twitter, currently known as “that app Elon ruined”) have...

National Economy Prepares for 99% Unemployment by 2030 — Officials Recommend “Group Nap Time” WASHINGTON, D.C. — An AI safety expert has warned that by 2030, 99% of the U.S. workforce will be unemployed, leaving the nation dependent on the 1% who still know how to reset the Wi-Fi router. While economists called the prediction “catastrophic,” lawmakers quickly rebranded it as “an unprecedented opportunity for leisure.” No Plan B,...

Southern California’s Fragmented Feline Population Gets Official Recognition of What It Has Been Navigating Since the 405 Was Widened Reported by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. SACRAMENTO, Calif. — California has granted threatened species status to several Southern California mountain lion populations, a regulatory designation that provides additional legal protection to an animal that has been navigating a landscape of freeways,...

Little Tokyo Service Center Project Delivers Permanent Supportive Housing As City Confirms Affordable Units Still Require Waiting a Very Long Time Reported by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. LOS ANGELES, Calif. — The Little Tokyo Service Center opened its new Santa Monica and Vermont Apartments this month, providing 185 affordable units near the Expo Line — half designated as permanent supportive housing for people transitioning out...

Annual Labor Day March Routes Through LA Neighborhoods That Are Already Navigating an Ongoing Housing, Immigration and Cost-of-Living Emergency Reported by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Thousands of people marched from MacArthur Park to Gloria Molina Grand Park in downtown Los Angeles on May 1, carrying flags from multiple nations, banners in multiple languages, and the specific energy of a march that knows its...

Former President Issues Denial After Comments Interpreted as Confirmation; Compton Resident Who Filmed the Thing Maintains Position Reported by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. COMPTON, Calif. — A video purporting to show something alien-adjacent outside a residential property in Compton circulated widely on social media this week, arriving at the specific moment that former President Barack Obama was also in the news for shutting down...

Reptile Sets Personal Speed Record While Exiting Burning Structure; Biologists Note That Motivation Is Underrated Factor in Tortoise Locomotion Reported by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. FULLERTON, Calif. — A tortoise escaped from a burning shed in Fullerton this week, moving at a pace that witnesses described as “surprising,” “definitely faster than I thought possible,” and “look, I’ve seen this tortoise for three years...

The Businessman Who Contributes $2.5 Million of His Own Money to His Campaign Is Playing a Different Game Than the Others From Bohiney and The London Prat. The Businessman Who Contributes $2.5 Million of His Own Money to His Campaign Is Playing a Different Game Than the Others The Campaign LOS ANGELES — Adam Miller, described as a tech entrepreneur, contributed $2.5 million of his own funds to his LA mayor campaign and collected $200,000 in...

One Year Later, Most Survivors Have Not Broken Ground; Every Candidate Has a Position on Why From Bohiney and The London Prat. One Year Later, Most Survivors Have Not Broken Ground; Every Candidate Has a Position on Why The State of Recovery LOS ANGELES — The Palisades Fire of January 2025 destroyed thousands of homes across the Pacific Palisades and surrounding areas. CalMatters reported in early 2026 that most people who lost homes have not...

The Top-Two Primary That Could Send Two Democrats to November Is the Specific Reform That Produces Unintended Consequences From Bohiney and The London Prat. The Top-Two Primary That Could Send Two Democrats to November Is the Specific Reform That Produces Unintended Consequences The System LOS ANGELES — California’s top-two primary system, which sends the two candidates with the most votes to November regardless of party, produces the...